A longer title of my blog then I usually chose, but to stick with song lyrics like my other posts. This one fits me the most right now. I know it hasn't been very long since my last post, but I'm hoping that writing this post will make me feel better.
Lately I have been in a rut.
Wait let me restart, and tell you why I chose these lyrics. Lately I have been feeling upset. Upset about leaving Clarkson for the summer, leaving my friends (old residents) , not being able to figure out how I feel about some people, scared for the next semester, and an all around a fear of change. Yes I am almost 20, and I still get scared. I am not afraid to say it. Its just that my sophomore year went so well that I have huge fears about junior year, that it won't measure up, or I won't have as much fun with my residents. Or I will lose friends, great friends that I made this year.
This rut is coming from emotions, and my sensitivity. A rut that not even running can fix, and usually running fixes all my problems, well except for shin splints. This is why I wish I was "cold as stone" and didn't have these emotions or thought so much about things or felt the pain I feel. I get attached to people because I care to much, I want people to be happy and I forget my own happiness. Then I get myself all worked up, when in the end I know my mom is probably right like she always is "Mary your going to have another great year, because you will make sure of it". As much as I doubt her she is probably right.
So with the Boilermaker in 50 days, I am gonna keep running. And I hope that this running will get me out of this rut I'm in. Because its summer, and I don't want anything holding me back.
So I am using this Summer to find my happiness and get it back,
Anybody with me?
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