You don't know your beautiful ..

I know its embarressing I'm using One direction lyrics in my blog but after spending two weeks with 13-15yr olds, you can imagine what music I have been listening too..  Its better than biebs "If I was your boyfriend I'd never let you go".  So two weeks with 48 young teenagers, one week with Horizon I (my 8th graders) and a week with Horizon II (my 9th graders).  But what did I learn??

Suprisingly I learned so much from Horizon I that it was almost a little life changing.  These girls of all sizes, ethnicities and all sorts of crazy taught me something.  Each with natural beauty had this confidence, like "Yeah I'm Sexy and I Know It".  They didn't care what anyone thought of them no matter how crazy or home sick.  They are proud of who they are.  I don't know many middle schoolers that think that way.  As we all know middle school was that awkward stage in our life, I had a jew fro and a mouth full of braces, I know sounds real attractive.  But not all young teenagers can be that great.  My second week at Horizons wasn't nearly as fun as the first.  I had the typical group of teenagers, the clicks; the mean girls.  Reminding me how much I hated middle school because it wasn't based on being yourself it was based on trying to be someone else.  And these girls haven't realized that yet.  The importance of being yourself.  I can try and try to teach them, but It's something you have to teach yourself.  To love yourself for who you are, hell the Horizons I girls figured it out. 

My mom was excited when I got the Horizons job, because she knew I could make a difference in someone's life.  And for the Horizons I girls they made a difference in my life, and I can tell by the letters and songs they made me, I made some kind of impression on them.  For Horizons 2 I didn't give up mom, It's not like me to give up.  But some problems I can't solve, as much as I wanna think I'm a therapist, I'm on the path to be an engineer.  I can give these girls insight but somethings in life you need to learn on your own.

As for me, My sleep schedule has been nutty, My diet has been fantastic =P ( Robro decides that pasta and chicken are the only things to serve to children. To bad I'm a vegetarian and pasta just gets old), and my voice is started to go from yelling so much.... BUT the girls that I work with at Horizons and the girls I have met in the program will forever make a lasting impression on my life...

Thank you girls for life lessons, for waking me up at 5 AM to sing happy birthday to me, for throwing me a birthday party with "sexy craig", for laughing at my jokes, and most importantly putting a smile on my face...

Here's to the good people in the world and a round of applause and hugs to them,

Anybody with me?

This is the hardest story that I've ever told....

Before I start this blog post, I would love to say that my blog has been up and running for a little less than a year, and has over 1000 views.  I thank my friends and family for all taking an interest in my life.  And giving my blog a shot! Support is what I need :), and I am proud to say I am over this "summer rut" I have been stuck in!!

What better lyrics to start this blog, with Mika, in honor of a holiday I celebrate religiously with one of my great friends Brandon Ketteman on every Monday.(Mika Monday of course!!) I have been working hard on this blog post as it will take a lot out of me, hey if its a hard story then there better be a lot to it, and it better be good.

I am almost nearing my  twentieth birthday, when I will be saying good bye to my teenage years and to me this means I am officially an adult.  I was never one of those kids that wished they were older, like "ohh I can't wait till I am 16 so I can drive", in all honesty I hate driving, Its scary haha.  I always enjoyed the age I was at and never expected anything more or less.

I remember when I was younger I was always homesick, and wanted to be home more than anything else.   I never thought I would overcome that, and now my home is temporary.  A place where I visit the folks and catch up with the fam.  Home is like going to a friends house and sleeping over. And I think that's one of the biggest things that finally proves your entering adulthood, the place where you grew up is full of memories, but isn't your permanent home anymore.

 But as I leave my teenage years behind I realized I have done a lot but I also have a lot to learn.

For Example:

• Realizing that I can't make everyone happy, and others emotions shouldn't affect my own-- I tend to be sensitive, and take things very personally, because I am a personable person. lol If that makes any sense what so ever .
• Its ok to freak out, and its ok to cry--  I have done a lot of crying since I left school in May.  This summer has been an emotional roller coaster with friends and family.
• RELAX-- Thinking as great as it is, can be the death of me.  When I think to much I put my mind in all crazy emotions.
• To not be so hard on myself-- Sometimes I have to remember, to  "Save your strength for things that you can change, Forgive the ones you can't,You gotta let 'em go"
• MOST IMPORTANTLY: That people come and go in life, you can't make them stay, but you can remember and cherish the friendships and memories you share.-- There are gonna be those people in my life that are my best friends.  But things happen and I can't keep them in my life forever.  Realizing that was a big growing up moment for me this summer.
• Eat Clean and train Dirty --This summer I have taken fitness to a whole new level, and my diet the same.  I have given up meat this year as a new years resolution (hey one thing on my bucket list is to complete a new years resolution, I mean how many people can say they did that), due to my lactose intolerance my protein shakes are made with almond milk.  And a four mile run is becoming an "easy day". I am down 20lbs and I'm actually gonna do it this year, reach my goal wieght! I recently cut 10 min off of my 15k time for a pr of 1:32:29.

My mom recently asked me "how does it feel to be a success story?".  I paused and said "what?".  She replied, "how does it feel to have done everything you can possibly do and more and succeed".  I sat and looked at her confused, kind of like the look I give most of my engineering test at Clarkson. haha.  I never really thought about being a "success story", or that not many people my age do what I do.  I just grew up thinking that challenging myself was what I was supposed to do, and if I wasn't pushing myself to my limits, I was slacking.  My parents have done a great job in that department especially.  Reminding me not to settle and that hard work will someday get you somewhere.  I am still waiting for the "somewhere" haha, but It's nice to know your parents are proud of you.

So here I sit in my room, the walls are covered with Will Ferrell quotes, my running bibs, magazine covers, and pictures of my childhood.  This room each minute is becoming less and less "my room", and more and more my "vacation home".

But nothing can stop time or the fact that growing up is hard

Here's to growing up, doing the best you can possible do, and not forgetting to be a kid sometimes!

Anybody with me?