Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep...

As most of you know I just finished my second to last semester at Clarkson University. With an awful finals week, of going to bed between 5-7am it was quite a semester!

A lot of good and a lot of bad has hit me in these couple of months. I was at times very sick, very busy, very overwhelmed, and I lost a friend; but once again I have learned so much about life.

So this post is to celebrate life and what it has to offer. You have the ability to have a positive impact on so many people. You have the ability to challenge yourself. This semester I challenged myself by taking 18 credits, managing 8 crazy resident adviser's (just kidding I love them), expanding my sorority by 6 girls, having a work study job, and by being a friend. This semester I have started to clean up the pit, ran a half marathon, and got my highest GPA yet (3.4 woot woot). As for the positive impact, I only have a semester left at Clarkson to positively affect more people. It's not that I want to be missed when I leave Clarkson, I just want the people I have met to be positively affected by me, whether I say hi to you everyday, or help you when your feeling down in the dumps.

Kyle Carreau and Karen Dawson, what more can I say! I love the #CDC. We know how to cheer each other up and most importantly make fun of each other. These are two wonderful people that have had a such a positive impact on my life at Clarkson....

 Even if Kyle is a shithead.

I was telling my sorority sisters one day, that if there is one thing to know about life, it's knowing who you are. I told them they each need to find something that makes them different from everyone else. Then embrace that one thing because people will love you for it. I, for one can always count on my humor, to get me out of trouble with mom or just to make a sour situation a little sweeter.

This break I will be celebrating life, catching some ZZZ's and putting together a new years resolution to stick to!

Is Anybody With Me?

You hit me like a wrecking ball...

First of all I would like to say over my blog has reached over 3000 views, the support from all my friends and family is unreal. Thank you so so much!

So much has happened since my last blog, I crossed an item off my bucket list "running a half marathon". Let me just tell you that it was a struggle, don't think I could of done it without my best friend Karen Dawson. I have made a lot of progress as an RD and have been holding my own in school work, even though my health hasn't been the best this semester. I also was part of a huge event on campus called Up Til Dawn in which we raised over $11,000.00 for St. Jude.

So what hit me like a wrecking ball? I mean a senior engineering student has to have her life together by now right?

 Uhh..no. I just enrolled in my last semester of classes for Clarkson. And reality hasn't totally hit yet, being a senior is bittersweet. First of all you have this "I don't give a f**k" attitude, which believe it or not is awesome, because you do things you wouldn't have done before. As a senior the word embarrassment doesn't really exist. But even though you're building this confident self, you also secretly have worries about graduating. I was talking to my dad earlier this past week, and he reminded me that I have all the puzzle pieces to put my life together, but how I make my puzzle is up to me.

 Oh Dad, you and your weird analogies...

But the sad thing is as much as you hate to admit it when your parents are right, my dad is. I just don't know what kind of puzzle I want to make, and if every piece will fit, including me. 

There's a weird fog around me lately, but every storm runs out of rain right?

Taking one day at a time, and when graduation comes it comes.

Anybody with me?

Say what you wanna say, And let the words fall out... Honestly I wanna see you be brave

Yikes, the fact that my senior year is flying by is freaking me out. Already in October, life is unreal. I still have so much to accomplish before I leave Clarkson. The main thing I want to accomplish, is making my mark. Something that Clarkson will remember me for, cause god knows I will be remembering Clarkson when I start to pay my student loans back.

I'm working on it though, making a difference.

Today my grandfather would of turned 99, if he was still alive. Its almost unreal how long ago it's been. I'm not usually one of those people that mark the anniversary every year on my Facebook status but this year means a lot. Why you may ask? Because if my grandpa was alive, I would love to talk to him about all that I have accomplished or the fact that I wish he could see me graduate from Clarkson. He always thought I was smart, but I never got the chance to show him what I was capable of doing, especially since he passed away my freshman year of high school. For some reason his approval, meant the most to me. He was the biggest critic of my life, one of the bluntest people I will ever know. He never sugar coated anything, just the way I like it. When I was younger I didn't appreciate how blunt he was, but now at 21 years old I learned to really appreciate it. Nobody likes bullshit, they just want you to tell it how it is, that's how I live my life today.

After going home for Fall Break, my younger siblings still amaze me. The fact that I go to McDonald's (with my 10 year old brother and 13 year old sister) and they just get up and start dancing randomly in the restaurant. They don't care what anyone thinks of them, and they are highly respected from their friends. I picked my brother up from school and everyone said bye to him. They reminded me to just be happy and live life. I can only hope to live life the way they do, and I always tell them not to change!

That's the perks of living in a big family! Everyone is so different that you learn so much. I learned to not bullshit the bullshitter, to not care what other people think, and to not judge others because what good is that. 

So here's to making a difference, because the world could always use a little change.

Anybody with me?

You're gonna miss me by my walk, You're gonna miss me by my talk, Ohh you're gonna miss me when I'm gone

So Summer 13, this is it. Today is my last day in VT, my mom and I will be heading up to the dirty dam tomorrow to go back to school.  I am going to miss living in Burlington so much, it's funny how nervous I was when my mom was dropping me off, to now 12 weeks later. A relaxing place by the water with so much life.

I had my last day at GMCR yesterday, and hated to say goodbye to so many awesome people. Words can't explain how amazing some of the people are at GMCR.  It truly hasn't sunken in yet, that I won't be going back to work on Monday morning to make my 8 am Espresso with Rachel.  I can only hope they will miss my loud voice and laugh. Everyone always told me when they needed to find me they would just listen for my voice, hahaha. I'll miss being an effective trouble maker around the office and sending funny emails to Laura and Rachel. 

But most of all this summer is full of some baller memories:

I might not be tan but this summer I:

• Drank an unlimited supply of the best coffee
• Tasted numerous breweries, ciderys and vineyards
• Ate at some of the best restaurants 
• Witnessed gorgeous green scenic views
•  Laughed and Laughed and Laughed.

It's crazy how change can scare a person. This is the first summer I didn't spend at home with my family, at first I didn't think I could do it. But it wound up being one of the best summers of my life. 

So Vermont, I think this is a I'll See You later, we will save the goodbyes for something else.

To a great Summer,

Anybody with me?

Damn it feels good to be a gangster...

Yes, as soon as you turn 21 years old, you become a gangster its inevitable kids. Jeez, last time I wrote a blog I was about half way through my internship I believe and now I'm almost done with 3 weeks left.  

With my birthday just passing, and yes I can't believe I am 21 years old, where the heck have the years gone? Everyone kept asking me, "Mary what are you doing for your birthday?" Well honestly I always thought you should live everyday as your birthday. Everyday you get older and you should celebrate each day and live it to the fullest. So in order to escape, I went to my safe haven, Potsdam City. I didn't need any big plans for my birthday, just spending time with my friends, enjoying the day off, playing outside and drinking some beers. Sounds like a perfect birthday to me, and you know what it was! I was never one to make my birthday a big deal and it was nice to take it easy for once.

With my internship getting closer to the end all I can say is, wow. I have learned so much this summer. I have learned a plethora of information about coffee, how to be an engineer, how to live on your own, pay bills, and most importantly I have learned a lot about friends. The interns and employees (mainly Judy our work "mom") I have met this summer have taught me a lot about life:

• Don't let your emotions get in the way of things.
• Life is so much easier when you don't care what people think of you and you just be yourself.
• Don't let petty people bring you down because in the end they will never win.
• When you have a batman voice embrace it? (Judy makes me do my batman voice to everyone in the office, for some reason I should be proud of my hidden talent?) 

But I am not saying good bye to them yet though they have 3 more weeks with me!! So far I have been a boss at my internship I have acquired 2 cubicles, I'm going straight to the top! 

My boss calls me an "Effective Troublemaker". I like it, I think it has a ring to it.

Living everyday like it's my birthday,

Anybody with me?

Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me ....

Well after all the Disney songs my partner in crime has been singing to me, I had to pick a Disney song for the title of this blog ...

Where do I begin.. I have learned so much this far on my internship not only about GMCR , not only about people, but about myself.

I guess I can first start with the book I received in the mail from my best friend Karen.  This books timing was unreal. I had my first race of the summer already and yes I started out with a 10k (go big or go home, right?). But the book has really opened my eyes. First of all, it has reminded me that even though I don't play a D3 sport at Clarkson, I am still an athlete. All throughout my life I have been an athlete, and being a runner is indeed being an athlete. I have lost that part of myself and it used to be a big part of my life, it defined me. The book has inspired me to get outside everyday and get those miles in, because as soon as I stop, starting again is the hardest part. I am 90% sure I will be doing a half marathon this summer!

Second of all, the other day I was shopping and someone defined me as a size large. That really hit home. My whole life weight has been something that has defined me, it all started when I was a little girl and what my grandpa used to tell me. "So round so firm so fully packed", yes Gramps I get it thank you. At first when I hear these comments it makes me upset but then I think to myself "wait, I could probably run farther and faster than you". Why? Because with me failure has never been an option and yes I do have weight to lose, but my need to succeed and determination exceeds the rest. I have already lost weight this summer, and plan to be in great shape by the time my senior year begins.

The third thing I learned is from my dad, "you have a great sense of humor Mary, utilize it". Probably by far one of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given. This summer I have learned a lot about being patient, dealing with others and "keeping my cool". When I feel stressed out or have the need to scream, I make a joke about it, I mean someone once said "Laughter is the best medicine".

One of my favorite lines from this book I'm reading (Eat & Run by Scott Jurek) is "Sometimes you just do things!" There are many times in life when people ask you why, or they criticize your decisions. My response "Sometimes I just do things", because I believe it's the right thing to do or "I do what I want" haha!

Here's to getting the most out of everyday (whether it rains or shines)

Is Anybody with me?

"Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough...."

Yes, this song is extremely overplayed and yes, I haven't made a blog post in a while so I thought I would update you and myself on my life. My dad would call this, "a time of self reflection". Well here it is dad...

From the many posts on Facebook, I am sure you can all tell I am not in Canajoharie anymore for the summer, but I am in Burlington,VT. A new place surrounded by a surplus of people I don't know, and the unknown of city life. The first night was overwhelming, I didn't think I could make it through the summer but somebody needed to "just give me a reason" that I could.  I talked to my big sis Hannah Monk, who reassured me  that with a positive attitude and enough sleep I could make it through the summer.

And with that, I went to bed.

I just finished my first week at Green Mountain Coffee Roasters, a week of orientation and on Friday, I got to meet my boss, a Clarkson Alum I might add!  After seeing my cubicle, work computer, mailbox and name tag; reality finally hit; I did it! I landed a summer job in a great company and I was surrounded by great people.  All of the other interns are awesome each bringing a wonderful personality and background to the table.  Human Resources told us that about 1300 applications were sent in this year with only 24 interns selected, lets just say I patted myself on the back for that one and rewarded myself with a cup of coffee.  ;)

This summer is one for self reflection. To get myself into the best shape with my resources (so much outdoor activity in Vermont), to really find out what I want to do after my senior year, and to learn to live own my own.

I have 11 weeks and nothing but motivation!

I would like to thank all my friends and family who reached out to me this week! It really meant a lot!

I'm ready for Summer 2013,

Anybody with me?

If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change.....

Recently at school we had an Anti-Slur Campaign where we Cured the Slur ( I came up with the slogan haha) but the campaign was powerful in the essence that its a step into changing Clarkson. JBall the professor involved in the campaign pulled me aside after to talk to me about the huge impact I  have on this campus, but what she also reminded me of was that I have one year left at Clarkson.  With this year left, I have only one more time around to make my impact on campus. But in order to make this change, I have to take a look at myself .. well at least that's what the King of Pop would say...

Four finals stand in the way between me and the end of my junior year at Clarkson. After that I go home for "summer" which will be less than two weeks with the fam.  This to me is bitter sweet; getting this internship was all I ever wanted, but being with my family for the summer is tradition. But after talking to one of my best friends wittle baby Evan, he assured me if anyone could handle the "real world" it would be me.  Sometimes you just need the push from the right person.

As for this "Man in the Mirror" more like Woman in the Mirror, sorry Michael changing the lyrics up a bit. My ultimate goal is to reshape myself, in the real world this summer. I want to come back to Clarkson my senior year feeling like I am in the best shape mentally and physically.  In order to leave the positive impact I want to leave, I have to be happy with myself.  I got a lot on my plate Senior year, 18 credits, Resident Director, Treasurer and Expansion Chair of KDX, a new event called Up Till Dawn I am the Cultivation Chair, and of course my job at financial aid.  Involvement has truly shaped me as an individual on this campus, yes some may say "you have tooo much on your plate", or "do you ever have time for yourself?"  or "do you ever sleep". The answer to all of those is yes. Yes I do have way to much on my plate, Yes I usually use the summer for time for myself, and Yes I do sleep on the weekends.

You only do college once, no one ever wishes they slept more and I wanted to live college without any regrets. My main goal was to graduate, and my other goal was to be well known at Clarkson (for the good reasons). I'm getting there!

But for now its STUDY STUDY STUDY, FINALS FINALS FINALS FINALS, and then a sweet trip home to Canjo City.

Here's to the real world, and all it has to offer,
Anybody with Me?

"Gonna be an engineer.."

So as everyone or some people have noticed all my blogs start with song lyrics, usually ones that describe the post. Well believe it or not this is a song and I heard it on Monday by Peggy Seeger.  A silly song about how a woman wanted to be an engineer but her mom told her to be a lady instead.  Well after interviews and more interviews and rejections and rejections...

 I tried to keep my head up and then my phone rang today...

I got offered a Coffee Processing Engineer position at Green Mountain Coffee Roasters. Yes a civil engineer is working at a Coffee factory, but you know what, it just proves with the right attitude and a love for coffee you can go far in life.  ;)

I chose this song mainly because after all these interviews and rejections I started to question my major choice. Is engineering for me? Can I really do this? Am I going to get a job? I got nervous; all my mom could do was tell me to wait and keep my head up.  After accepting the position I wasn't excited but nervous again. The fact that I am going to be in Vermont all summer, learning how to be an adult, learning how to be an engineer, it all overwhelmed me.  But my mom and dad were so unbelievably proud, and that was enough to make sure I told myself to "man up" and do it.

Plus my dad even admitted that the news made him cry tears of joy. See how tough I am, I can make a 57 year old man shed a tear.(P.S. Don't tell him you read this =p)

I guess the moral of this post is that there are times in life where you question your decisions and you start thinking what you have done was either a waste of time or just you don't belong.  But with the right attitude and a go-getter persona you can make things work out, cause things fall into place when you have a good head on your shoulders.

Now other than that, looks like my new summer home is Waterbury, Vermont.  Gotta get my housing all set then I would love visitors!

Road trip, Anybody with me?

THIS GIRL IS ON FIREEEE....

Not only do I love this song, cause Alicia Keys has some ballin' vocal cords but one of my old residents Tomass belted it out in the Subway line at school to get a free cookie.  Let's just say this song is not only a motivator but always puts a smile on my face.

But.. I  didn't just choose the song for Tomass, but for myself! After many interviews and weeks of stress I got the RD (Resident Director) position that I have wanted since I became an Resident Adviser.  With this opportunity I hope to show RA's how rewarding the job really can be.  Residence Life has become a big part of my life here at Clarkson.  This promotion means so much to me!

After catching up with an old resident he told me about his Big/Little people theory.  I know the name of the theory sounds absolutely ridiculous, but just hear it out.  The first thing he told me is that he's a big person now, and the little people don't matter. Of course this made me nervous, I don't want to be forgotten or remembered as a "little person". So here's the theory, "Little people are people who have nothing important going on in their life so they just run around talking about big people or other small people.  It's the little people that will be doing boring jobs doing boring stuff and never accomplish anything big in their life"....  So here was the tearjerker... "Big People make an impact on people's live's, just like you've made an impact on my life Mary".   Yes, some of you may be thinking to yourself what an abstract theory but as I had tears in my eyes and looked back at my phone I thought.. maybe he is on to something here.  After a rough fall semester, all these "little people" were starting to get to me, but in reality I let them get to me.  I fell down many times and had a hard time getting back up.  But Big people put a smile on their face and are only looking to be better than the person they were yesterday.

And a big WOOHOO to my blog for having over 2000 views!!!

I'm adding on to my miles, and keeping my head in the books for the next 2 weeks.  I can't wait to go home for Spring Break.  I haven't seen my family since January, that is way to long for a small town girl in a big family.  It's time to go home and see all the "Big people" in my life, my supporters and motivators.  Next goal on the list is to get an internship and everything will fall into place.  

Here's to forgetting the "little people" who bring you down,

Anybody with me?  

Just know you're not alone, Cause I'm going to make this place your home...

After a hectic month and even just a busy weekend, I think I am on the path to getting myself back on track. I have added some more miles to my tally for the year, kept my head in the books and stayed concentrated on my goals.  I had to really take a step back and evaluate what my game plan is for the years ahead.  I have recently been asking myself A LOT  "what do I want to do with my life"? 

But.. why did I choose these lyrics?? Well this honestly relates to my past 2 weeks.  With all this focus on Residence Life in these past two weeks I have realized I have made Clarkson University my home and showed others that it can be a humble abode for them to live in as well.  Through Carousel Weekend I have been reminded of the family that Res Life provides me and the family I can provide for my residents.  It allows me to realize how far I have grown in just 3 years at Clarkson.  A timid freshman to a role model for the underclassman.  It was a nice refresher and eye opener even though it was a bit tiring.

My mom and siblings were going to visit me at Clarkson on Friday, but of course my mom the busy bee she is got called into work.  Yes, I was disappointed and the fact my little brother cried because he missed out on an opportunity to make fun of my residents. The little smart ass that kid can be!  Just the thought that my mom and my younger siblings we're going to visit the arctic of Potsdam truly meant a lot to me.  Which makes me even happier that the days are getting closer and closer to spring break.

After calling my mom today, I realize that family and that sense of "home" will always be important to me. Whether I be in Canjo City or Potsdam City, I will always "make that place my home" and that I won't be alone with the new families I create.  My mom told me on the phone that she thinks I'm "getting my groove back" and she couldn't be happier.  Which in return makes me happy of course =)

So where ever you are, who ever your with, I have come to the conclusion that anywhere can be made your home if you really try and without my family, I wouldn't have been able to bounce back, or "get my groove back".

Here's to family, home and Beyonce (just cause I love her) =)
Anybody with me?

It's time to be a big girl now ... and big girls don't cry

So my residents have this new line, and any time anyone does something stupid all you here is "grow up" well unless your Draz of course then that's all you here is YERRRR..  Grow up?, well who wants to do that.

Speaking of growing up, my not so little sister turned sweet 16 not to long ago, who would of thought the Adams' would add another driver into the mix. I'm sure mom is stoked to teach a 4th child how to drive.  Makes me remember my first time driving....uhhh I still hate it.

This year I have been trying to have this new outlook on life.  I am trying to get myself back to how I used to be, which I have been pretty successful.  My residents told me I am acting happy again, which instantly makes my day better.  I have been going to the gym everyday with my seeeester, Rachel.  I am her trainer, I make her life a living hell for the hour and a half we are at the gym, but she goes home happy because she gets to admire her muscles.  Having all my classes on Tuesday and Thursday is actually a nightmare.  It's pretty stressful all homework is due at the same time on the same days and it gets overwhelming.  The career fair is around the corner, which always stresses me out.  Got to keep searching for those internships or coops, I think once I have one I will just be in a lot better shape.

I think what I really need to do is go back to what I do best, making others happy/making them laugh.  So I will be doing my acts of kindness again! I actually already started. I recently bought a bracelet for my seeester Rachel, a bracelet that reminds us no matter what faith and hope will get us through the toughest days.  I had a resident who was frantically trying to find his calculator 10 min before his chem exam, and I ran to my room to give him mine.  I know they sound like silly things, but making people happy is the only thing that makes me happy! 

I can't believe the first month of the new year is already over, and I feel like I haven't accomplished much.  I think I need a jump start for February.  Get some more miles in on the track, step it up a notch in my classes, put a smile on, and try to enjoy even the toughest days because:

"Life's to easy to be so damn complicated"

Anybody with me?