"Where are you Christmas, Why can't I find you?'

As the holiday is soon approaching I thought this December season would be different. I thought with the lack of finals and Clarkson cold, I would get back my Christmas Spirit that I had before I was in college.  I was sad to find out that this December flew by as the past 4 have, filled with many busy hours at work.

But I have taken a lot of time this December to do some self reflection and today I even read a whole book, GASP I know. As many of my close friends know, I hate reading. But today I sat down and read #GIRLBOSS. I would highly recommend the book if you are looking for some motivation, plus if I got through it in less than a day "you are golden pony boy".

After listening to this song by Faith Hill, I realized I don't need Christmas to be happy. 2014 has been a great year for me. I'd also like to thank all my readers as my blog as over 5000 views! Yes, I had some bad patches but I am done focusing on the bad because life's to short. I can honestly say I love my job and the nations capital, but I'm not settling. I am always challenging myself at work and asking a MILLION questions. I want to know all the options and the different career paths I can take. Which is what I encourage everyone to do ask questions, that was the first lesson I learned this year. 

This past week I found myself getting into one of my Mary funks. During Mary funks I see myself focusing on the negative not the positive and I let others people's emotions effect my own. I care a lot about people and only like to see them happy. Which is the main reason I pride myself on being able to get the most serious people to chuckle. 

BUT, you can't let other people effect your life or expect people to react to situations the way you do. That my friends is Lesson 2 that I am still learning. I guess what I am trying to say is that in 2015, I want to work on focusing on Mary G. Although people think that when you have a job, you have your life together they are mistakingly wrong. I don't think anyones life is fully "together" because you should always be working on bettering something.   I told my boss in a recent meeting that I have always been my worst critic. For years coaches, teachers and friends have told me to work on that and not be so hard on myself. But my boss said to me "Mary don't ever lose that, that trait will only help you succeed"

After that meeting a light bulb went off in my head. John was right why do I have to change any part of my personality or character. That's what made me me, even if I am strange or awkward at  times.

to 2015, another year to be proud of because shouldn't we be proud of them all. WE only get so  many years lets not harp on the bad ones.

To creating yourself, not finding yourself, because that's what life is about!

Anybody with me?

" There's no place I'd Rather Be...."

Although most of the time I believe MTV should make a show about my life "True Life: My Life is Awkward". I wouldn't trade it for the world. As Thanksgiving is almost here and the Christmas tunes are starting to play in my head I am getting ready for mom's tradition.

Every year for Thanksgiving the Adams' family sits around our dining room table in our designated seats and we are asked one question; "What are you Thankful for this year?"

I could honestly give my mom a SAT essay as an answer. But I will sum it up nicely at the table and leave the blurb of an answer here. 2014 has been one of the best years of my life. I achieved many goals, was able to set many new ones.

1) I am thankful not only for my job but the people I have met. Not only do I have my work family (Alex and Ian a.ka. Dad),but I have met people within the company that have given me opportunities to be apart of awesome experiences. I am very thankful for Johanna Hsu, because of her I have been able to meet so many wonderful people in Clark and have enjoyed so many opportunities.

2) I am thankful for the home Washington DC has given me. I was scared to  move to a city after being a small town girl my whole life #don'tstopbelieving. But moving to DC was one of the easiest adjustments. I truly love all the different experiences and the fact that I can be in Maryland, then DC, then VA all in the same day.

3) I am thankful for FaceTime. FaceTime has made the distance between my family so much easier. Although we are 7.5 hour car ride away, it is so nice to see my siblings faces when I need a good laugh. Or when Luke makes a joke and we try to "bro-pound" through the camera.

4) Last but not least I am thankful to still keep in touch with my college friends, but mostly Karen who talks to me at least everyday. And new friends, like Menisha who makes the hardest days at work that much easier with our g-chats!

I have a lot to be thankful for and wonderful people in my life.

I hope for the rest of 2014 to be just as great!

But for now I am counting down the hours till I get to see my family not through a camera, and when we can start blasting Mariah Carey's Christmas song in our house.

Cherish what you are thankful for!
Anybody with me?

"But I keep cruising, can't stop won't stop moving .."

Now that you all have taylor swift's shake it off song stuck in your head. You're welcome. 

As some of you may know I went to the dirty dam this weekend to visit school. I know, I know I didn't want to be one of those alumni who can't let go of college, but sometimes you just need the cold rainy air of Potsdam. Especially when DC was 70 degrees.

There is something about Potsdam that really brings a smile to my face. But it was also bitter sweet. It was great because I learned something. When you leave college you are scared that it will change because you aren't there anymore. But visiting feels as if I haven't left, running into people at Maxfields, getting a big beer at ebens. Potsdam will always be  well.. Potsdam. Now not only do I have Canajoharie as a comfort zone but now Potsdam too. A place that I can escape to if I want some "consistency" in my life. But it was also bad because it made me realize how I miss all my friends, just being in Riverside made me want to run to El Cinco and check the ceiling for the patches where the holes used to be. Or call up Karen and Kyle to go to Kinneys to get a 30 of America's Finest: PBR.

Bittersweet because I miss those memories, but hell they were good ones. And they will always be good stories to tell and laugh about. 

But it was great to catch up with other recent grads and find out how their lives are working out for them. After telling people about my company and life in DC , I realized I am really happy. I am content with what I am doing, the people I am meeting, and the opportunities I have.

I guess what I want you to take away from this post is, cherish friendships and memories you make. No this isn't a line from a fortune cookie. But just because you graduate, you aren't forgotten. Well maybe its because I have a really loud voice and that's why people can't forget me. I love when people ask me "Oh do you and Karen talk? or not really?." ..Um we talk almost if not everyday. 

Graduating college isn't the end, It's the beginning!

Oh and enjoy cheap bars while you can,

Anybody with me?

"I believe in the YES, the YES can do anything.."

Yes I just quoted the yes dance youtube video that I watched in high school but it is so fitting. As most of you know I moved to DC about 7 weeks ago, wow that went by fast. And in order to meet people and expose myself to the city I began the YES iniative. 

Let me explain...

The YES iniative is so unlike me. Usually through out school if I was invited to go to something and I didn't know almost all the people going, I would be timid to go. Or I wouldn't go at all. The YES iniative means I have to say YES to anything I get invited to do or if an opportunity presents itself then I must say YES. 

Is this iniative stupid? YES it is. Has it allowed me to meet some awesome people and some great stories? YES indeed it has. 

Sometimes you have to push yourself past your comfort zone in order to excel. And let me tell you something there has been plenty of times when I felt uncomfortable but I worked through it and made firends. Perfect example is this past weekend I was invited to a dinner party where I knew the birthday girl and my roommate, all the other 15 people .. no clue. After the night it was like they were college friends it was a fun night full of laughs and jokes. 

As work goes I have tried to sink as many jokes as possible, stick out and I have learned a lot in the 6 weeks I have been there. It is amazing how fast the world of engineering goes, project after project, phone calls after phone calls. Everyday is a different experience and a new learning experience. 

I also have to make plenty of phone calls to subcontractors, and I hate calling people on the phone. So this has been quite the adjustment. I always refer to calling subs as me drowning because I get a bit of social anxiety on the phone. I am more of a person to person kinda gal. But I am working through my weeknesses to make them strengths .. even if it does sound like BLUB BLUB BLUB .. Hey this is Mary at Clark BLUB BLUB BLUB

Do me a favor friends, say YES to something you wouldn't usually do and see how it goes. Either way you have a story to tell and I love telling stories.

Let's say YES,

Anybody with me?

"It feels like one of those nights, We won't be sleeping."

In the spirit of turning 22 a couple weeks ago, I decided to give Taylor Swift the honor of using her lyrics this month. So T-Swift, You're welcome. 

Well folks, since January 9th I knew that I would be moving to Washington D.C. and tomorrow is the day. The U-Haul is packed, the directions are freshly printed (we believe in the old fashioned way of traveling). But don't tell mom, I am using the GPS also, she is awful with directions. I think we finally mastered our way to Clarkson, it only took us 4 years. 

After packing up my room today, reality hit. Nerves are high but only because of the unexpected. I truly believe it is my time to leave Canjo. Most of my other college friends have started their journey to Boston, NH, NYC and Albany. And like always I am the youngest out of my friends, and the last to do everything. 

My best friend Karen, gave me a book for my birthday. Usually I hate reading but Karen has this ability to find me books that I can actually read and fall in love with. This book is about the WTF's of your 20's. Who am I? What do I want to do with my life? How do I know what I want to do with my life, I'm only 20-something! But the book puts me at ease with stories of other 20-somethings that have the same issues. It is nice to know that most 20-somethings are in the same boat I am in. I mean I don't feel lost, I just feel as if I have a lot to learn about life, which is a good feeling. (link to book http://www.amazon.com/20-Something-Manifesto-Quarter-Lifers-Speak/dp/1577315952)

After talking to James, I realized I have a lot to learn about finances, banking and credit. But it is nice to know I have someone to talk to and to give me advice. Especially because I know he won't scam me into buying things I don't need like a new BMW. (I'm just busting him because of his new car. I personally don't want a car for awhile. BUT I am so happy and proud that my friends are doing well for themselves)

So I think it is time for me to start my new story all about how this small town girl put on her big girl city pants. I am excited to tell you the new ups and downs (because life isn't perfect) about my new life. 

Same old girl just a different world.

Leggo Real World,

Anybody with me?

Some type of way, Make you feel some type of way....

This blog post is unlike any of my other blog post. Mainly because yes you can sense some feelings in other blog posts but none of them are about expressing feelings or expressing feelings for another person.  Before this sounds like a diary entry circa fifth grade let me clear something up: I am NOT confessing my love to someone through a blog post. I was recently catching up on this show called Awkward. It's on MTV and for the people that haven't watched it, its about typical high school drama and crushes. 

It made me reminisce on my past crushes. For example in elementary school when this guy gave me a fat lip on the playground. Once I woke up in the nurses office, I remember my friends saying the next day "OMG you guys are totally getting married". I grinned with my new fat lip as blood rolled down my face. 

As I am writing this I am literally laughing my ass of it sounds so dumb, but it's true.  

As we grow up we have crushes on people. And almost 90% of the time we don't tell them, but we let ourselves get hurt by watching them fall in love with someone else. I am guilty of this but I also have expressed my feelings.

I have tried multiple tactics........

1) That random Tuesday night text finally getting my feelings off my chest, to only realize the next day my friend asked me if I was drunk texting him. Most people would say on a TUESDAY??! But with me it sounded like a good assumption.

2) I tried the surprise gifts and inside jokes, that only lead to what could of been the worst outcome to sending someone something. And I didn't even get a thank you. 

3) I tried the DTR (Define The Relationship) well that worked for a night? 

As I hope many of you are getting a laugh about how awkward my life has been, I hope you are learning something too. You have to tell people how you feel, no matter how embarrassed you might be. What's the worst that can happen you can have a story like mine? Well then you will have a pretty awesome blog that a lot of people read. 

But the best thing about telling people how you feel is you only need that one person to have the same feelings back. I mean that's how relationships start right, you find that one person. So no matter how many times you get rejected you only need one person to say "Hey you know what Mary I think you are really baller too". I am guessing you guys want a little more romantic reaction then me but feelings still make me uneasy. 

So all I am saying is step out of your comfort zone, and express your feelings. You might get hurt, but don't just wait around in a WTF relationship, because feelings aren't something that are easy to understand. YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THEM, no matter how uncomfortable they make you feel. 

Ya know what I'm sayin'?

I'm ready to express my feelings..................................................I think?

Anybody with me?

Hey Summer How you been .....

Being home for the summer, reminds me of being a little kid. The days where I thought I would eat a fruit gusher and my head would turn into a watermelon. The days I thought  that the moon followed our car everywhere we went at night. The days I couldn't let my feet hang off the bed because I was scared of  that monster under my bed.

OK you got me, I still don't let my feet hang off the bed at night.

Time is a weird concept. Mainly because it has gone by so fast, but I still feel so young. Don't get me wrong, I do somewhat miss the days where I had no worries in the world, I mean I didn't even have to take care of my own hair. My dad took care of that, made sure I had a pony tail on the side of my head.

That my friends is the sign of the best looking kid at school.

But being home also feels weird. I feel as if I have exhausted all I can out of Canajoharie and that I need to move on. This only solidifies the move I will be making in August. Some of my friends have already started their new chapter and it seems like I keep reading the same page over and over again: " Mary Adams from Canajoharie graduates Clarkson University .. Mary Adams from Canajo...". 

It is a weird feeling, the feeling you get when you are kind of (key words: kind of) ready to be an adult.

But I am taking full advantage of this summer. I am enjoying free delicious meals, hanging out with my siblings, saving money (which is also a plus). It is nice to have time for self reflection, catching up on sleep and being a kid just a little longer. Why? Well because I can, and everyone thinks I'm 15 anyways.

And just because my little sisters are taller than me does not mean they are older than me!

Feeling young but anxious,
Anybody with me?

"Follow your arrow wherever it points..."

This post goes out to Cub 1 my freshman year, my brooks 3 and brooks 2 residents, my residence life family, James, the CDC (Karen and Kyle), #thebestaround,my KDX sisters, and my other friends few far and in between.

It has been 3 days since I graduated college and my feelings are still mixed about the whole thing. Graduation came and went. I then spent that night packing up my room and went to bed at midnight, when I got a phone call from James at 1:30 am. He wanted to stop by and say goodbye. As James said his goodbye and drove away I realized this wasn't a "See you in August" goodbye, it was more like "Bye for now", I'll see you when I see you goodbye. Then it finally hit. I am not a student or kid anymore, I'm an adult with a job starting in August.

So now that I dedicated this blog to all the people that made my four years at Clarkson, I would like to say THANK YOU. Thank you for busting my chops and making me better at comebacks, thank you for the crazy nights out on the town, thank you for the laughs and most importantly thank you for the stories; the unforgettable stories. 

To those who still have school left: enjoy it, make memories, do something for the story, because Potsdam is not the real world. Let's be real, Potsdam is it's only little secluded town. Enjoy some more nights filled with dancing at streets and for your classier days head to fields. I am sure they are gonna miss Karen and I, as regulars so someone will have to take our place. Oh and don't forget BTB, or trivia night! 

For those who graduated with me, follow your arrow wherever it points! As cliche as this sounds, keep in touch! Together we built this four year foundation on which our degrees lie, and we can't forget each other because of new beginnings. Fill me in with your ups and your downs, or when you need advice or just a laugh. Whether we stay in touch via snapchat, instagram (throwback thursdays) or random facebook posts, it will still be nice to know that I'll be remembered. 

As most of my friends at school know I am notorious for saying "bye forever" or "see you never" as I hate getting emotionally attached to people or things. I was unable to make a joke of saying goodbye to Clarkson or my college friends, because although I tried not to cry all of graduation or senior week. I did shed a tear as we pulled away from Clarkson and when James did also. Clarkson made me who I am today, along with the wonderful friends I have made over my last 4 years. 

Cheers to the people in our life that give us stories to tell. 

Here's to becoming an adult! (eeek)

Anybody with me?

"There's a hero If you look inside your heart, You don't have to be afraid Of what you are"

As I end my senior year, my sorority asked me to write a blurb about who my hero is.. 

Let me tell you..

So we are supposed to write about our hero right? And you all think I am going to pick this bodacious singer, dancer and woman I hope to be, right? Well you are all right, my hero is myself. I am a bodacious singer, dancer and woman I hope to be. Before this sounds so self-conceited, let me explain.

            As I grew up I wasn't that kid that wanted to grow up faster, I wanted to be the age I was at. But I did have certain goals that I set myself for certain ages. When I was in first grade I wanted to be the mayor of my second grade class. I did that. As a second grader my goal in third grade was to be the fastest person to complete the multiplication quizzes from 0 to 9 and beat out all the guys, I did just that. My third grade goal was that I wanted to be on the high honor roll for all of 4^th grade and 5^th grade, and I accomplished that academic goal too. As years went by I became a middle schooler who wanted bigger goals like my driver’s license and graduating in the top ten of my high school class. I did that also. I wanted to graduate Clarkson University with a job and a degree, in about 4 weeks I will do that too. But why am I my own hero? My hero is me in 10 years, and after those 10 years, my hero will be me in another 10 years. 

My hero is someone that I will keep chasing and never really meet, but the chase is worth the goals and accomplishments. Alright Alright Alrightttt.. you may have heard this from Matthew Mcconaughey during his Oscar speech but my mom called me the day after the Oscars to tell me “Mary this is so you, you are your own hero”. While most of you will choose your mom’s as your hero’s which is fine, but my own mother knows me that well to tell me this. I set goals for myself that I want to achieve and my hero keeps setting more goals for myself. These goals are goals that I couldn't have accomplished without the support of my family or friends, but all goals that I set for myself. The best part about my life; I control it. But I always looked to advance myself within areas like my career, personal challenges, or bettering my family.

            But let’s get real, every hero meets their conflicts. My other goal I set for myself was to get in to Phalanx a very high leadership honor society at Clarkson University. Well I was nominated but was not inducted. Some goals haven’t been easy to accomplish or haven't been accomplished at all. That's why heroes are so great, they aren't perfect and sometimes they can't reach their goal. Just like I won't ever reach my hero. But a hero is someone who rolls with the punches and as long as they are proud of themselves that is all that should matter.A hero asks for help in time of need and looks for their supporters to better themselves and everyone around them. Your hero asks for help, your hero falls apart, your hero is someone you will always chase, and your hero ends every day with a smile on their face.

            

So everybody, I love Beyoncé, my family, my friends but my hero makes me want to be better than the person I was yesterday. So act like a lady, think like a boss and make me proud.

Going to bed with a smile on my face,

Anybody with me?

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock, cock.

So after taking my last trip back to Clarkson as an Undergrad, graduation is less than 7 weeks away. Most people have asked me if I am sad about leaving. People are silly, I don't have emotions about leaving. I am ready, SO ready to move on. 

Clarkson welcomed back all of their seniors with a manila envelop enclosing their total amount of student loans, I had to find time to finish my last RD duties and plan a formal for my sorority. Senioritis is at an all time high at this point as I received an email with my start date of August 11th. All the sleep I caught up on at home over break has vanished as I feel like I am under a never ending to-do list. Clarkson really knows how to send their seniors off with a bang.

I have never really complained about Clarkson but as I come back after break all I can think of is one word: "done". I am done with the cold weather, done with the lack of willingness to change,and most importantly DONE with drama.

The only thing I will miss is the people that have helped me grow, including my best friends (Karen, Kyle, Jeff, James etc), my boss Peggy Jarvis (by far the best boss I will ever have), Kate Mikel for getting me thorough my freshman year, my sorority little Jess Draper (for literally being the best little a girl could have), and Steve Newkofsky for just being the man. Clarkson has great people and I am blessed to have met the people I have.

But Where the fun at?

For the next weeks I am here I have a lot of work to do but a lot of fun to have also. I am doing the talent show with Karen again! This time we will bring home the cash moneys. I have my senior formal to go to, couldn't be more excited. And some trips to Ebens, Maxfields, and BTB in between.

Potsdam, you have harvested a bunch of memories for me and hopefully even some more in the next weeks. But like high school, four years is enough for me!

 I'm a peacock you got to let me fly.

Anybody with me?

"I don't ever wanna leave this town, 'Cause after all This city never sleeps at night"

Ahh after an interesting weekend in the Dirty Dam, I realized despite the weather or Potsdam's other flaws, this place is one of a kind. Between the endless nights, dancing and random trips to hot tamales; every night is an adventure. Whether your are running to avoid the cold or running into people you haven't seen in a week. The dirty dam is probably one of my favorite locations.

As some of you might know after graduation I am heading to Washington DC to start my "next chapter" as cliche as that saying is. Everyone tells me "It must be nice already having a job, you don't have any stress". Actually I do, I don't know if people don't realize that I'm from a place called Canajoharie. It's Native American for a "pot that washes itself". As you can imagine, Canajoharie is a flourishing city. Then I went to college in a place in which I have to tell people I am practically in Canada. So I have always been a small town girl.

Yes I have stress, everybody does. 

I am nervous to graduate, because I have already made 2 places my home: Clarkson and Canajoharie. And after the summer I will have to start all over again. Building a new home, #startingfromthebottom

But enough of the feels, because no one wants that.

Being a senior is a blessing and a curse. Senioritis is so real. But I have my CDC to make sure we are always chilling at the end of the day. I am a month down in the year of 2014, and I can already tell this is a year to make stuff happen.

With February break coming up, I can't go home but I am missing the Adams' family so much. Nothing beats hearing my little brother's sassy voice on the phone. Or the fact that we have two phones at our house and while my mom is talking on one, my siblings are talking on the other. My family is all I need to get through these next months and with my big step to DC.

Heres to enjoying what Potsdam truly has to offer, and family and friends that are the best!

Is Anybody with me?

Just a small town girl....

With 2014 starting off with a bang, I have already finished a new years resolution. I recently conquered the fear of flying with a trip to DC. Also this small town girl learned to navigate the city on the metro. It was quite the experience. I did my best regardless of the outcome, made some people laugh. My one goal of all interviews.

I decided for 2014, I would try to accomplish as many new years resolutions as possible. I really would like to run a marathon this year, be in the best shape possible, get a job and those only scrape the surface of my "to-do" list. I see 2014 as a way to really make something of myself, this is the year that I have opportunities to begin a career path.

This is a big year for me since I will be graduating in May, from the place I have called home for four years. Am I scared? oh hell yes. Am I excited? Well no one wants to take classes their entire life.

I am heading back to Clarkson tomorrow, with the thought of starting my last semester. It just seems so unreal. I remember my mom dropping me off my first day, it's amazing how far I have come. But before I can reminisce I still have good times to make.

I will still be managing 18 credits, my RA staff, multiple roles in my sorority, a work study job and more. I only have a semester left to leave my mark at Clarkson. I am excited to see what this semester brings.

This small town girl knows their is a big world out there, and she's ready for it.

Here's to accomplishing resolutions, believing in yourself, and standing out!

Is Anybody With Me?