Disclaimer: This blog post isn't to scare you!

I am just putting a quick disclaimer on this post, I am not at all in bad spirits or feel depressed in any way.

Recently I read this article on this girl that committed suicide, however her depression was masked by her positive posts on social media. First of all, the article made me shed some tears because everyone's life is worth something special. This article sparked a thought though as well. Social media makes people think that your life is going swell; you have no worries in the world, and you secretly want people to be jealous of your life. It hides all of your bad experiences and paints a pretty picture or adds a filter to a pretty picture.

Well here is the truth. ... To people who think I am living the dream: my life isn't perfect.

There are days when I need to take a break from it all because well I need to. The saddest part about needing a break is that I always feel as if I need to defend myself or come up with some acceptable excuse. Some days I just need to take a deep breath and slow down. As much as my mom is a super hero (she does it all without taking many breaks, except for her power naps), there are times when I need to take a mental break day.

Recently my mind hasn't stopped thinking. Tomorrow marks the year anniversary since I graduated college. Time has flown by! I also have been kicking myself in the ass for not making more of an effort to be home for mother's day. Although time hasn't really been on my side. Two days ago I met up with James (a best friend from college), who made the effort to come down to DC. I vented to him about the different obstacles one has to overcome when you move to an area that you don't know anyone. He also has had the same experience when he moved to NH. James only reassured me with happy thoughts by telling me that I should be proud of myself for taking the big plunge. He also told me that its okay to do things by yourself, and sometimes being alone is just what you need. I like to think that things happen for a reason. I believe James came at the perfect time, to tell me to take time to myself and to just stop thinking.

As much as physical fitness is important, I believe mental fitness is important also. To the new college graduates, especially of Clarkson, my best advice is to take some time to self reflect. Be proud of your huge accomplishment and your journey has just begun. Don't forget to take days for yourself and continue to self reflect either on your happiness, your success or just to clear your mind. Don't hide behind social media; talk to a friend that might be going through the same thing and get some advice. I can promise to lend some advice whenever or wherever is needed. Well I can't help with directions because I am incompetent at that.

Most importantly wish your Mom a Happy Mother's Day, because moms are superheroes. They never stop to take a break.

To happiness and moments of self reflection...

Anybody with me?

Only rainbows after rain ...

Well if spring hasn't hit DC, I don't know what did. I do love the 70 degree weather for April. I can say I am a Facebook fan of that! It has been a while since I wrote my last post. I am trying to update you without seeming like I haven't done much with my life.

I am running the NYC marathon on November 1st, to cross another item off the bucket list. I am in the process of writing a book about my life. It will be funny I promise. The book is coming along but it is very hard to organize my thoughts.

This blog post is being centered on the world comfortable. Which to most people is a positive term, "I am really comfortable in this chair". That was a lame example but you get the point. For me I hate being comfortable, it either means I'm not challenging myself enough or I am losing motivation. Today I went to a meeting and this woman came up to me after and she said "Did you notice that out of the 4 women in this room, I was the only one that spoke; why is that?". I  stepped back and was dumbfounded. She said she heard I was in Toastmasters (an international speaking club) and she asked me to think about it.

She was so right....

Here I am getting to comfortable at work. Estimating, calling subs, running through the routine of the daily life of an office engineer. But why I am capable of so so much more. I couldn't stop thinking about this woman on the way home from work. What are the chances? People do enter your life for a reason, and when they say something to you, take it seriously.

I instantly wanted to be a better employee, open some more doors of opportunity and become a better person. I instantly got mad at myself for not contributing to the meeting, because I knew I had ideas to share or things to say.

Sometimes in life we get too comfortable, and most of our goals are to be comfortable with where we are in life. To me, that is a nightmare. I want to be uncomfortable because it is pushing me out of my comfort zone and teaching me to learn new things.

Lately I have been a huge B. I think it is because I feel to comfortable, and I want a new challenge. But I also have to work on be patient, because sometimes the best opportunities come with time.

Today was not a great day, but it was a great learning opportunity.

So if you are comfortable, try something new.

For now, I'm keeping my head up!

Anybody with me?
MG

Thank you, Thank you!!

I know I don't usually posts 2 blog posts a month but today was a great day. You know there are days in you life where you question what you are doing. Those days where you ask yourself is this really what I want to do, am I happy with what I'm doing?

Today wasn't one of those days. Today solidified that I am in the right field.

First of all after a stressful week at work, today we got to go bowling for a new hire event. Yes I am still considered new until my ClarkNet profile says I have been at Clark for a year. There were many executives at this event, such as the head of HR who still remembers the day that I interviewed and talked about Clarkson. But one of my favorite execs was there, my boss John. I think when some of the other new hires see the way my boss and I interact they are confused. Mainly because John and I bust each other all the time, he can take the jokes and let me tell you he is getting very good at dishing the jokes too. I know I won't probably always work for John, but let me tell you he has made Clark a very enjoyable experience for me so far.

Second of all after this bowling event, I checked my phone. I of course had at least a dozen new emails ( I know, I know, I'm popular). It's mainly because we have bid day tomorrow. One of my subs sent me his proposal telling me that when he gets an email from me it makes him smile. And that I should never hesitate to ask him for help. I read the email about 4 or 5 times. It's the little things, like emails that can really solidify your life choices. Yes, construction is about having a personality. I am glad that even though I am not talking face to face with these subs (which I would prefer, my jokes are better delivered when I am in person), through emails and phone calls I can still be myself.

I'd like to give another shout out to this woman I work with, although a shout out is not nearly enough for all the help she has given me. Christine is not only my bid captain but my team Clark leader. She explains to me the industry, how to write scope sheets, how to excel at my job, and most importantly she has given me confidence to do my job (under a lot of critiques of course!!) The red pen will always, always come out. Later through my blog you will learn more about Christine.

I can't write a Clark blog post without mentioning Jo! When my days get crappy or I need advice Jo is always there to straighten me up. Whether it is to pull my skirt down a little bit to straighten out my outfit, or to tell me to take control of my career because no one will do that for me, or to tell me to set higher in volleyball. Jo has not only helped me through Clark but opened up a door of opportunities for me, especially to make friends. We know how to have some fun together!

This is a Thank you Post!

Thank you everyone who has helped me, I know I ask a lot of questions. I know my voice is really loud (I'd like to say I'm working on it but I have to volumes). Thank you for letting me be myself but also teaching a 22 year old how to become professional.

Thank someone today,

Anybody with me?

"We'll never go out of style, We'll never go out of style"

Well I can't say that 2015 was as great as the start of 2014, I had a couple arguments/encounters with best friends that I haven't fully repaired yet. What I thought was a "more than a friend" situation became a " lets just be friends" situation, adding to the awkward moments of my life.

But I think the most important thing I learned about myself through this last month in a half would be the word "grudges". No matter how bad things get, I don't hold grudges and I am open to forgiveness, no matter how disrespected I was. BUT a key note to realize is I am not fast at bouncing back, I am a thinker. I need to think each situation out and how it effected me so I don't say anything I would later regret, I just need that time to myself.

I don't want to throw friendships away, because as we know this world is to hard to conquer on your own.

Lately talking to one of my best friends that I once deleted from Facebook and his phone number from my cell phone (because that is the 21st Century version of deleting a person from your life). It took me what I believe is 6 months to fully forgive him, but he still reminds me at least once a month how happy he is that we are back to being friends again because "everyone needs a little Canajoharie in their life". I can honestly say I am just as happy as he is that we are friends again, the best-est of friends again. But what he helped me realize is that my friendship means a lot to him and to my other friends. I recently received one of the best Valentine's Day cards from my friend Alex. She recapped a bunch of dumb shit that we do and hoping to continue our list of stories. I also received a Valentine's Day text from Jo reminding me that I am beautiful inside and out. I had a wonderful Valentines dinner and dancing with my friends Menisha and Amanda. As we tore up the town with our Uptown Funk. Menisha reminds me every morning "gotta kiss yourself so pretty".

This is what I mean people, no matter who or what brings you down; you can play a key role in peoples lives.

I mean I offer jokes, awkward stories, and apparently a great friendship. But that is something I am working on everyday, being the best version of myself which correlates with being the best friend I can be. I make mistakes, I can overreact about things, I may take sometime to get over things.

But...

I do not hold grudges, because that's not Mary G.

Anybody with me?

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT-A MUST READ

This is my 50th blog post but whose counting?

I look back at all of my posts and I had some moments of self reflection. I had some moments of  doubt; no wonder why that post only got 30 views it sucked. But also some happy tears and laughs from awesome memories.

At this moment I am realizing what people are actually getting out of this blog, some advice, some encouragement, knowing that its okay to have "funks" and mental breakdowns. Or how about no matter how bad your day is you can always find some good in it. Or the struggles (aka First World Problems) of young professionals. As a 22 year old I haven't witnessed enough to be experienced enough to give the best words of encouragement or advice, but I can offer you a laugh or two.

I realized that I also have mislead you. My blog has always been called "Engineering a New Me", in hopes that I would become who I really wanted to be. I lost along the way the most important piece of information, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a better person, but there is something wrong with wanting to be a new you. No one should ever feel as if the version of yourself isn't good enough that you need to be a complete new person. And for that I apologize.

Recently I tried a new motto "Put yourself out there" which I feel like is an updated version of YOLO. And by doing that I found myself questioning, "whats wrong with me, what should I change?". But silly Mary, tricks are for kids. You shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone but yourself. But even in that situation you are probably still being your biggest critic. Once you start doubting yourself you are losing your biggest fan.

What I'm trying to say people is use 2015 as the year to believe in you! Do something you never in a million years thought you were capable of doing. It can be anything from running a marathon to finally figuring out to order your favorite drink  correctly at Starbucks.

From here on out, you can be expecting my blog to continue to make you laugh, offer advice, real life stories, add some inspiration to your life. And most importantly hearing things straight up from Mary G. I can only hope  most of you read this as if I was reading it to you in my batman voice. You know the one my mom hates?

Give yourself some credit, the world is already full of critics you don't need another one.

Anybody with Me?

"Where are you Christmas, Why can't I find you?'

As the holiday is soon approaching I thought this December season would be different. I thought with the lack of finals and Clarkson cold, I would get back my Christmas Spirit that I had before I was in college.  I was sad to find out that this December flew by as the past 4 have, filled with many busy hours at work.

But I have taken a lot of time this December to do some self reflection and today I even read a whole book, GASP I know. As many of my close friends know, I hate reading. But today I sat down and read #GIRLBOSS. I would highly recommend the book if you are looking for some motivation, plus if I got through it in less than a day "you are golden pony boy".

After listening to this song by Faith Hill, I realized I don't need Christmas to be happy. 2014 has been a great year for me. I'd also like to thank all my readers as my blog as over 5000 views! Yes, I had some bad patches but I am done focusing on the bad because life's to short. I can honestly say I love my job and the nations capital, but I'm not settling. I am always challenging myself at work and asking a MILLION questions. I want to know all the options and the different career paths I can take. Which is what I encourage everyone to do ask questions, that was the first lesson I learned this year. 

This past week I found myself getting into one of my Mary funks. During Mary funks I see myself focusing on the negative not the positive and I let others people's emotions effect my own. I care a lot about people and only like to see them happy. Which is the main reason I pride myself on being able to get the most serious people to chuckle. 

BUT, you can't let other people effect your life or expect people to react to situations the way you do. That my friends is Lesson 2 that I am still learning. I guess what I am trying to say is that in 2015, I want to work on focusing on Mary G. Although people think that when you have a job, you have your life together they are mistakingly wrong. I don't think anyones life is fully "together" because you should always be working on bettering something.   I told my boss in a recent meeting that I have always been my worst critic. For years coaches, teachers and friends have told me to work on that and not be so hard on myself. But my boss said to me "Mary don't ever lose that, that trait will only help you succeed"

After that meeting a light bulb went off in my head. John was right why do I have to change any part of my personality or character. That's what made me me, even if I am strange or awkward at  times.

to 2015, another year to be proud of because shouldn't we be proud of them all. WE only get so  many years lets not harp on the bad ones.

To creating yourself, not finding yourself, because that's what life is about!

Anybody with me?

" There's no place I'd Rather Be...."

Although most of the time I believe MTV should make a show about my life "True Life: My Life is Awkward". I wouldn't trade it for the world. As Thanksgiving is almost here and the Christmas tunes are starting to play in my head I am getting ready for mom's tradition.

Every year for Thanksgiving the Adams' family sits around our dining room table in our designated seats and we are asked one question; "What are you Thankful for this year?"

I could honestly give my mom a SAT essay as an answer. But I will sum it up nicely at the table and leave the blurb of an answer here. 2014 has been one of the best years of my life. I achieved many goals, was able to set many new ones.

1) I am thankful not only for my job but the people I have met. Not only do I have my work family (Alex and Ian a.ka. Dad),but I have met people within the company that have given me opportunities to be apart of awesome experiences. I am very thankful for Johanna Hsu, because of her I have been able to meet so many wonderful people in Clark and have enjoyed so many opportunities.

2) I am thankful for the home Washington DC has given me. I was scared to  move to a city after being a small town girl my whole life #don'tstopbelieving. But moving to DC was one of the easiest adjustments. I truly love all the different experiences and the fact that I can be in Maryland, then DC, then VA all in the same day.

3) I am thankful for FaceTime. FaceTime has made the distance between my family so much easier. Although we are 7.5 hour car ride away, it is so nice to see my siblings faces when I need a good laugh. Or when Luke makes a joke and we try to "bro-pound" through the camera.

4) Last but not least I am thankful to still keep in touch with my college friends, but mostly Karen who talks to me at least everyday. And new friends, like Menisha who makes the hardest days at work that much easier with our g-chats!

I have a lot to be thankful for and wonderful people in my life.

I hope for the rest of 2014 to be just as great!

But for now I am counting down the hours till I get to see my family not through a camera, and when we can start blasting Mariah Carey's Christmas song in our house.

Cherish what you are thankful for!
Anybody with me?