"There's a hero If you look inside your heart, You don't have to be afraid Of what you are"

As I end my senior year, my sorority asked me to write a blurb about who my hero is.. 

Let me tell you..

So we are supposed to write about our hero right? And you all think I am going to pick this bodacious singer, dancer and woman I hope to be, right? Well you are all right, my hero is myself. I am a bodacious singer, dancer and woman I hope to be. Before this sounds so self-conceited, let me explain.

            As I grew up I wasn't that kid that wanted to grow up faster, I wanted to be the age I was at. But I did have certain goals that I set myself for certain ages. When I was in first grade I wanted to be the mayor of my second grade class. I did that. As a second grader my goal in third grade was to be the fastest person to complete the multiplication quizzes from 0 to 9 and beat out all the guys, I did just that. My third grade goal was that I wanted to be on the high honor roll for all of 4^th grade and 5^th grade, and I accomplished that academic goal too. As years went by I became a middle schooler who wanted bigger goals like my driver’s license and graduating in the top ten of my high school class. I did that also. I wanted to graduate Clarkson University with a job and a degree, in about 4 weeks I will do that too. But why am I my own hero? My hero is me in 10 years, and after those 10 years, my hero will be me in another 10 years. 

My hero is someone that I will keep chasing and never really meet, but the chase is worth the goals and accomplishments. Alright Alright Alrightttt.. you may have heard this from Matthew Mcconaughey during his Oscar speech but my mom called me the day after the Oscars to tell me “Mary this is so you, you are your own hero”. While most of you will choose your mom’s as your hero’s which is fine, but my own mother knows me that well to tell me this. I set goals for myself that I want to achieve and my hero keeps setting more goals for myself. These goals are goals that I couldn't have accomplished without the support of my family or friends, but all goals that I set for myself. The best part about my life; I control it. But I always looked to advance myself within areas like my career, personal challenges, or bettering my family.

            But let’s get real, every hero meets their conflicts. My other goal I set for myself was to get in to Phalanx a very high leadership honor society at Clarkson University. Well I was nominated but was not inducted. Some goals haven’t been easy to accomplish or haven't been accomplished at all. That's why heroes are so great, they aren't perfect and sometimes they can't reach their goal. Just like I won't ever reach my hero. But a hero is someone who rolls with the punches and as long as they are proud of themselves that is all that should matter.A hero asks for help in time of need and looks for their supporters to better themselves and everyone around them. Your hero asks for help, your hero falls apart, your hero is someone you will always chase, and your hero ends every day with a smile on their face.

            

So everybody, I love Beyoncé, my family, my friends but my hero makes me want to be better than the person I was yesterday. So act like a lady, think like a boss and make me proud.

Going to bed with a smile on my face,

Anybody with me?

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock, your peacock, cock.

So after taking my last trip back to Clarkson as an Undergrad, graduation is less than 7 weeks away. Most people have asked me if I am sad about leaving. People are silly, I don't have emotions about leaving. I am ready, SO ready to move on. 

Clarkson welcomed back all of their seniors with a manila envelop enclosing their total amount of student loans, I had to find time to finish my last RD duties and plan a formal for my sorority. Senioritis is at an all time high at this point as I received an email with my start date of August 11th. All the sleep I caught up on at home over break has vanished as I feel like I am under a never ending to-do list. Clarkson really knows how to send their seniors off with a bang.

I have never really complained about Clarkson but as I come back after break all I can think of is one word: "done". I am done with the cold weather, done with the lack of willingness to change,and most importantly DONE with drama.

The only thing I will miss is the people that have helped me grow, including my best friends (Karen, Kyle, Jeff, James etc), my boss Peggy Jarvis (by far the best boss I will ever have), Kate Mikel for getting me thorough my freshman year, my sorority little Jess Draper (for literally being the best little a girl could have), and Steve Newkofsky for just being the man. Clarkson has great people and I am blessed to have met the people I have.

But Where the fun at?

For the next weeks I am here I have a lot of work to do but a lot of fun to have also. I am doing the talent show with Karen again! This time we will bring home the cash moneys. I have my senior formal to go to, couldn't be more excited. And some trips to Ebens, Maxfields, and BTB in between.

Potsdam, you have harvested a bunch of memories for me and hopefully even some more in the next weeks. But like high school, four years is enough for me!

 I'm a peacock you got to let me fly.

Anybody with me?

"I don't ever wanna leave this town, 'Cause after all This city never sleeps at night"

Ahh after an interesting weekend in the Dirty Dam, I realized despite the weather or Potsdam's other flaws, this place is one of a kind. Between the endless nights, dancing and random trips to hot tamales; every night is an adventure. Whether your are running to avoid the cold or running into people you haven't seen in a week. The dirty dam is probably one of my favorite locations.

As some of you might know after graduation I am heading to Washington DC to start my "next chapter" as cliche as that saying is. Everyone tells me "It must be nice already having a job, you don't have any stress". Actually I do, I don't know if people don't realize that I'm from a place called Canajoharie. It's Native American for a "pot that washes itself". As you can imagine, Canajoharie is a flourishing city. Then I went to college in a place in which I have to tell people I am practically in Canada. So I have always been a small town girl.

Yes I have stress, everybody does. 

I am nervous to graduate, because I have already made 2 places my home: Clarkson and Canajoharie. And after the summer I will have to start all over again. Building a new home, #startingfromthebottom

But enough of the feels, because no one wants that.

Being a senior is a blessing and a curse. Senioritis is so real. But I have my CDC to make sure we are always chilling at the end of the day. I am a month down in the year of 2014, and I can already tell this is a year to make stuff happen.

With February break coming up, I can't go home but I am missing the Adams' family so much. Nothing beats hearing my little brother's sassy voice on the phone. Or the fact that we have two phones at our house and while my mom is talking on one, my siblings are talking on the other. My family is all I need to get through these next months and with my big step to DC.

Heres to enjoying what Potsdam truly has to offer, and family and friends that are the best!

Is Anybody with me?

Just a small town girl....

With 2014 starting off with a bang, I have already finished a new years resolution. I recently conquered the fear of flying with a trip to DC. Also this small town girl learned to navigate the city on the metro. It was quite the experience. I did my best regardless of the outcome, made some people laugh. My one goal of all interviews.

I decided for 2014, I would try to accomplish as many new years resolutions as possible. I really would like to run a marathon this year, be in the best shape possible, get a job and those only scrape the surface of my "to-do" list. I see 2014 as a way to really make something of myself, this is the year that I have opportunities to begin a career path.

This is a big year for me since I will be graduating in May, from the place I have called home for four years. Am I scared? oh hell yes. Am I excited? Well no one wants to take classes their entire life.

I am heading back to Clarkson tomorrow, with the thought of starting my last semester. It just seems so unreal. I remember my mom dropping me off my first day, it's amazing how far I have come. But before I can reminisce I still have good times to make.

I will still be managing 18 credits, my RA staff, multiple roles in my sorority, a work study job and more. I only have a semester left to leave my mark at Clarkson. I am excited to see what this semester brings.

This small town girl knows their is a big world out there, and she's ready for it.

Here's to accomplishing resolutions, believing in yourself, and standing out!

Is Anybody With Me?

Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep...

As most of you know I just finished my second to last semester at Clarkson University. With an awful finals week, of going to bed between 5-7am it was quite a semester!

A lot of good and a lot of bad has hit me in these couple of months. I was at times very sick, very busy, very overwhelmed, and I lost a friend; but once again I have learned so much about life.

So this post is to celebrate life and what it has to offer. You have the ability to have a positive impact on so many people. You have the ability to challenge yourself. This semester I challenged myself by taking 18 credits, managing 8 crazy resident adviser's (just kidding I love them), expanding my sorority by 6 girls, having a work study job, and by being a friend. This semester I have started to clean up the pit, ran a half marathon, and got my highest GPA yet (3.4 woot woot). As for the positive impact, I only have a semester left at Clarkson to positively affect more people. It's not that I want to be missed when I leave Clarkson, I just want the people I have met to be positively affected by me, whether I say hi to you everyday, or help you when your feeling down in the dumps.

Kyle Carreau and Karen Dawson, what more can I say! I love the #CDC. We know how to cheer each other up and most importantly make fun of each other. These are two wonderful people that have had a such a positive impact on my life at Clarkson....

 Even if Kyle is a shithead.

I was telling my sorority sisters one day, that if there is one thing to know about life, it's knowing who you are. I told them they each need to find something that makes them different from everyone else. Then embrace that one thing because people will love you for it. I, for one can always count on my humor, to get me out of trouble with mom or just to make a sour situation a little sweeter.

This break I will be celebrating life, catching some ZZZ's and putting together a new years resolution to stick to!

Is Anybody With Me?

You hit me like a wrecking ball...

First of all I would like to say over my blog has reached over 3000 views, the support from all my friends and family is unreal. Thank you so so much!

So much has happened since my last blog, I crossed an item off my bucket list "running a half marathon". Let me just tell you that it was a struggle, don't think I could of done it without my best friend Karen Dawson. I have made a lot of progress as an RD and have been holding my own in school work, even though my health hasn't been the best this semester. I also was part of a huge event on campus called Up Til Dawn in which we raised over $11,000.00 for St. Jude.

So what hit me like a wrecking ball? I mean a senior engineering student has to have her life together by now right?

 Uhh..no. I just enrolled in my last semester of classes for Clarkson. And reality hasn't totally hit yet, being a senior is bittersweet. First of all you have this "I don't give a f**k" attitude, which believe it or not is awesome, because you do things you wouldn't have done before. As a senior the word embarrassment doesn't really exist. But even though you're building this confident self, you also secretly have worries about graduating. I was talking to my dad earlier this past week, and he reminded me that I have all the puzzle pieces to put my life together, but how I make my puzzle is up to me.

 Oh Dad, you and your weird analogies...

But the sad thing is as much as you hate to admit it when your parents are right, my dad is. I just don't know what kind of puzzle I want to make, and if every piece will fit, including me. 

There's a weird fog around me lately, but every storm runs out of rain right?

Taking one day at a time, and when graduation comes it comes.

Anybody with me?

Say what you wanna say, And let the words fall out... Honestly I wanna see you be brave

Yikes, the fact that my senior year is flying by is freaking me out. Already in October, life is unreal. I still have so much to accomplish before I leave Clarkson. The main thing I want to accomplish, is making my mark. Something that Clarkson will remember me for, cause god knows I will be remembering Clarkson when I start to pay my student loans back.

I'm working on it though, making a difference.

Today my grandfather would of turned 99, if he was still alive. Its almost unreal how long ago it's been. I'm not usually one of those people that mark the anniversary every year on my Facebook status but this year means a lot. Why you may ask? Because if my grandpa was alive, I would love to talk to him about all that I have accomplished or the fact that I wish he could see me graduate from Clarkson. He always thought I was smart, but I never got the chance to show him what I was capable of doing, especially since he passed away my freshman year of high school. For some reason his approval, meant the most to me. He was the biggest critic of my life, one of the bluntest people I will ever know. He never sugar coated anything, just the way I like it. When I was younger I didn't appreciate how blunt he was, but now at 21 years old I learned to really appreciate it. Nobody likes bullshit, they just want you to tell it how it is, that's how I live my life today.

After going home for Fall Break, my younger siblings still amaze me. The fact that I go to McDonald's (with my 10 year old brother and 13 year old sister) and they just get up and start dancing randomly in the restaurant. They don't care what anyone thinks of them, and they are highly respected from their friends. I picked my brother up from school and everyone said bye to him. They reminded me to just be happy and live life. I can only hope to live life the way they do, and I always tell them not to change!

That's the perks of living in a big family! Everyone is so different that you learn so much. I learned to not bullshit the bullshitter, to not care what other people think, and to not judge others because what good is that. 

So here's to making a difference, because the world could always use a little change.

Anybody with me?